Rumours circulating about Stephan’s disappearance

(Blatantly ripped off from sinfest)

· After years of hedonistic excess and debauchery he donates all his belongings to charity and decides to “walk the earth.”
· Convicted on four counts of obstruction of justice, perjury, and general badness, he is sentenced to 15 years in maximum security prison.
· After inadvertently exposing his right nipple on network television he is taken in by federal authorities and beaten like a red-headed stepchild.
· He finally succumbs to the Dark Side of the Force and slaughters a village of Sand People.
· Tibetan monks identify him as the 15th Dalai Lama and arrange for his immediate evacuation.
· Friends and family conduct an intervention and send him to rehab, where he battles his addiction to sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. So far no progress has been reported.
· Upon serving his requisite number of years as emissary on earth his people from Planet Piratastica come to take him home.