Star Wars Episode 3 pseudo-review
Well, I pretty much enjoyed it. I’m still trying to figure out how much I enjoyed it after you take away the niggles. I think I’d like to watch the whole series back to back to really make my mind up, to see how it flows.
It was definetly worth watching, but here are some of my gripes.
a) General Who? Okay, General Grievous would have had more of a place in my brain space if I had watched the Clone Wars, but one of the things that irritated me about the Matrix sequels was that you only got the full picture of what was going on if you played the game, watched the Animatrix, read the short stories etc etc. In the past Lucas had shied away from that.
b) Acting. Okay, it’s Star Wars, but that’s no excuse for some of the atrocious acting.
c) The fall of Anakin. Whoah, that was fast. “You’re a sith lord and I’m going to hand you in. Oh wait, no I’ve changed my mind, for my wife I will join you. Excuse me while I kill some younglings. Whoops now my wife is disagreeing with me, better try and kill her.” That should have been a much slower process.
d) Qui-Gon immortal? He’s what now? Eh? Where did that come from? And it works how? Rather a lot of open questions from one throw-away comment right at the end.
e) In RotJ didn’t Leia say she remembered her mother? Or does she mean her adoptive mother?
f) Climactic battles? Misnomer much? Especially the wookies.
Okay, so it sounds like a boring fan-boy going on a “Lucas raped my childhood” rant. That’s not the case, I did enjoy watching it. I just sometimes felt the niggles were impeding me suspend my disbelief.

d) Yoda was talking about the “seeing the dead” thing that’s used as a plot device in Empire and Jedi. Apparently they scripted a scene with Yoda talking to Qui-Gon to show it visually, but Liam Neeson refused to do it so they never filmed it.
e) good point. Lucas will probably be able to get himself out of that painted corner tho by re-editing the original trilogy, like he’s threatened to do in the past.
f) Totally agree. If the Ewoks can be shown to kick lots of ass, why can’t they do the same for the Wookies?
I finally saw Episode Three.
Lots of death and explosions and glee.
She was pregnant with twins
When the movie begins
And the sex we did not get to see.