Cat Haikus

It’s not that I’ve become a parody of myself, I was actually asked to write these cat haikus for a friend for a cat charity book of some sort organised by Rrants. Apparently they’re what he was looking for, but there’s no problem posting them up here too. So here they are, below the break.

Why can’t people see,
That the ball-licking furball,
Will never be clean.

One cat: Pet lover.
Two cats: Desperate and lonely.
Three? Cat-shit crazy.

Lazy, disdainful,
A disloyal, part-time love.
Cat, or ex-girlfriend?

Little feline fuck,
Keeps shitting in my garden.
Tomorrow? The hose.

Update 22nd November, 2011:
It appears that I’m made two errors of terminology. Firstly, the plural of haiku is in fact haiku, so the title of this post should in fact be Cat Haiku. I’m not going to change it.
Secondly these are, apparently, not haiku at all, but senryu. You live and learn.